At this time, I want to share about a little bit of my reflection that I got from the second meeting of MAGIS .

First, I want to keep remind you that God is good all the time.

Hey, God! You’re so awesome.

Step by step, you teach me to understand Your Way. And from the second meeting of MAGIS, You still teach me new thing.

Let’s start with a question. What is “Life History” ?

In my understanding from lesson that explained by Romo, “Life History” is when we try to review our life journey from the beginning until current time. Trying to dig deeper inside ourself and trying to analyze the correlation and impacts to ourself today. Remembering each experiences from our childhood.. From baby until now.. Good or bad experiences..

Well.., Does it hurt us if we remember the bad one ?

Absolutely, yes. At Circle time (small sharing group), one of member asked like that. Yes, it should be hurt us. But the first step for acceptance and forgiving is we must realized the root cause. At first, probably we would have rejection from our heart. In fact, the wound should be healed. When we start to learn to accept the bad experiences, then the forgiveness is in front of us. When we accept and understand that everything should be happen for reasons, that’s the beginning of reconciliation. Who we are today is developed by our past. So, if we couldn’t accept our past, we will be hurt forever in our life. And then it impacts to our characteristics.

Uhhhmmm…, Sounds complicated ? hehehee.. Yah well.. It doesn’t need to be understood. It need to be experienced. It’s not a theory, it’s a life lesson.

But trust me, when we can accept the past, it will make ourself better day by day. And God’s way will be started to be happen in our life.

So, how about yours ?

Ini adalah sedikit permenungan saya terhadap daftar pertanyaan yang diberikan Fr. Melky di pertemuan pertama MAGIS Sebagai info, pertanyaan ini adalah tugas setelah sesi ‘Pengenalan St. Ignatius Loyola’.

1.Siapakah aku di hadapan Allah dan siapakah Ignatius Loyola bagiku ? Apa yang menarik bagiku tentang dirinya sehingga aku ingin mengenal tokoh ini secara pribadi ?

Secara pribadi saya merasa hanyalah seperti seorang anak kecil di hadapan Allah. Anak kecil yang minim pengetahuan dan sering berpikiran jangka pendek ketika dihadapkan pada situasi yang kurang/tidak sesuai dengan akal saya; hingga pada saat pekerjaanNya pada rencana dan waktuNya telah selesai saya lalui, secara perlahan saya baru mulai paham dan mengerti tujuanNya

Bagi saya, Ignatius Loyola adalah tokoh yang mengajarkan arti dan sikap kepatuhan atas rencana Tuhan, bahkan sekalipun dalam hal yang ekstrim dan kontras. Yang menarik dari tokoh ini adalah komitmen nya untuk benar-benar radikal mengikuti Tuhan. Dari kaum bangsawan yang saya percaya pasti terbiasa dengan kekayaan dan kehormatan dari orang lain, hingga benar-benar total menjalani panggilannya dengan menjadi pengemis.

Pernah sekali waktu saya bergabung di komunitas sosial di mana saya dan beberapa teman ditugaskan untuk menyamar menjadi mengamen/mengemis di sekitar sekolah untuk merasakan dan belajar merasakan pengalaman dari mereka yang berkekurangan. Pada pengalaman tersebut, betapa susahnya saya merasakan antara mengalahkan egoisme saya ketika akan masuk ke setiap warung dan mulai untuk mengamen/mengemis. Dan berkali-kali juga saya dan teman-teman ditolak, baik dengan cara halus maupun kasar. Sungguh kehidupan yang keras dan tidak mudah.

Ketika sesi mengenal St.Ignatius Loyola ini, saya langsung kagum karena ia berani menjadi pengemis pada masa transisi pembentukan dirinya untuk mengabdi pada Tuhan, apalagi dengan latar belakangnya dari kaum bangsawan.

2. Siapakah Ignatius Loyola di mata pengikutnya di jaman ini ? Adakah alasan-alasan khusus di jaman ini yang dilihat oleh para pengikutnya perlu dikemukakan agar orang mau mengenal lebih mendalam tokoh ini ?

Melihat dari ajaran spiritualitasnya yang baru saya kenal, saya melihat bahwa yang ditekankan oleh Ignatius Loyola adalah pengalaman pribadi seseorang dengan Tuhan. Dan saya melihat bahwa itu adalah sebuah nilai lebih untuk para pengikutnya yang sangat bagus apabila diwartakan ke orang lain. Karena menurut saya yang terutama dalam iman itu bukan masalah mengenai seberapa sering dan baiknya seorang individu mengikuti ritualitas, namun lebih kepada bagaimana ia menjalani komitmen iman nya dalam keseharian dan secara pribadi taat dan terus mengolah hubungan spiritualitas yang intim dengan Tuhan.

3. Bagaimana pengenalan atas tokoh ini dapat berdampak positif bagi pengembangan hidupku serta pengembangan kerja/kuliah dan karya-karya pelayananku ?

Dengan mengenal Ignatius Loyola, dampak positif yang saya rasakan bagi pengembangan hidup serta pengembangan kerja/kuliah dan karya-karya pelayananku adalah belajar untuk lebih aktif mengandalkan Tuhan supaya menjadi orang yang lebih bertanggungjawab atas setiap keputusan yang diambil, bukan dengan keluhan/penyesalan namun lebih kepada tindakan yang positif percaya bahwa ada rencanaNya. Sekalipun, mungkin keputusan itu bukan keputusan yang terlihat menguntungkan secara materi di mata manusia.

“Erika, how to be brilliant among 100 people?”

For seconds, I was silent. I knew what she meant. How to be brilliant among 100 people that already selected for the best intellegence score. How to be brilliant among 100 people who come from abroad education background. The question is “How” ?

I ponder what I have experienced. In my case, how to be brilliant among 75 people that very smart and come from better education background from myself. Fyi, I’m not very smart and just come from local university. I graduated just in average. But at the final, my senior manager told me privately that she likes about what I’ve done. Hmmm.

Then, I just reply to my friend ,“The important thing is your attitude. Don’t waste your energy just to be the most clever person because all of you must be selected well in intellegence matter.”

Yes, attitude is the most important rule that I keep.

The way how you respect others. How to speak up your ideas. How to show other what do you want them to do. How to convince others. How you communicate with others. It’s all about attitude.

As I experienced, I’m quite curious why some people tend to change others without change themself first.

And then I replied, “Enjoy what you do and what God want you to do”.

Yes, that’s the second rule that I keep. Sometimes, I can’t get what I expect. But I believe that God still trust me to do this thing for certain purposes. So, do it. In every small thing has His great purpose for my life. Proven with past experiences.

After that I replied again, “Make your ears to be deaf to the negative news / issues from other people talk.”

Yup. Well, not all people are good for your personal growth. Some of them will make you grow, and some of them will drop down your spirit because certain reasons which are impacts of too high expectations. Confident with yourself.

And for the last, I just typed, “Determine your goal & objective. Why do you want to work at here.”.

Sounds so classics, huh ? Yeah, I understand. But fyi, not all people really applied this thing. When someone got his/her job (especially their first job), they just work without clear goal & objective. So, when they get down because what they get is not as they expected, they start to grumble. Ok, let’s slowly discuss it. If you don’t determine clearly and in detail about your goal & objective, so what do you expect others to understand you? It’s easy for us to speak that we want to be in managerial level. Ok, but what kind of managerial ? Someone that already in managerial level should have better competencies to define and share their vision & mission. If we can’t clearly determine what we want to do and get in our life & career, how we can define the company vision and drive it to others?

For the closing, I just replied, “Good luck. It’s your own journey. All choices and decisions are your own.”

I hope the best for you, friend. Don’t ever walk alone. We still a friend and we still have Jesus Christ as our great Father. Keep in faith.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

‘Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God’s soft prompting
can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,
with each trial I feel inside,
that you’re there to help,
lead and guide me away from wrong.
‘Cause you promised, Lord,
that with every testing,
that your way of escaping is easier to bear.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

‘Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God’s soft prompting
can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,
for the victory that growing brings.
In surrender of everything
life is so worth while.
And I thank you, Lord,
that when everything’s put in place,
out in front I can see your face,
and it’s there you belong.

I’m not say that my previous communities are not make me grow. I just hear a voice (that I felt it comes from God) “No, I want you to grow, Erika. Keep your faith. Find it! I already plan My Place for you”. After several trials that come to my life until I felt my spirituality dry up.

He fix it one by one in His Way and in His Time.

On Friday until Sunday (11 -13 November 2011), I tried to join the community building of MAGIS 2012.

The first question is… WHY ? Why suddenly I want to join this thing ?

Let’s see the posters below :

Yes, there are  questions in my life. From human perspectives, my life is great. Having a great job & experiences with good enough salary as fresh graduate. But in the fact, no time for myself, family, or even God and community. Totally different when I was at high school. My prayer life that already developed during 3 years in high school, totally messed.

I know God is giving trials to my life to test whether I still loyal to Him or not. Every Sunday, I come to pray at church with dry spirituality, the voice that I heard was only “Keep your faith, Erika. Stay tuned in whatever conditions that I let to be happen in your life. I want you to grow because I want to put you in new place in My Time.” . Everytime when I become more down, the voice become louder and louder.

I became indecisive. Although I’m quite ambitious to have and achieve goals in my life, I know that I have a deepest desire to serve Him. The same desire when I was serve Him in my high school community, a charismatic Catholic community. But I didn’t know why I felt that I have more particular sense when I want to commit or decide something. I believe it comes from God, because now I can see some of the red strings of all things that God let happen in my life. When I had been offered to commit to my high school community, a voice said “No, it’s not your place again. I want you to move, Erika. I want to put you into a new place”. Well, ordinary human can say maybe I’m a little bit crazy to hear it. But that’s what I’ve heard.

And in the fact, it’s right. God let me to feel any kind of emotions. Facing different people with different behaviours and backgrounds. Struggling with them in dry spirituality is not an easy thing.

Until one day, I become in the lowest point of my spirituality life. I surrender to God. I just said to Him ,”God, I felt like a life zombie. At morning I come to work, at dawn I come to home. My days only work and work. Friends and family become far in my heart. I missed a time to Your place. I missed community in You. What should I do, Lord ? What are your plans into my life? I even can’t realize a single purpose of my days.”. Every time I cried in my heart, and no one knows. I only hear the voice “”Keep your faith, Erika. Stay tuned in whatever conditions that I let to be happen in your life. I want you to grow because I want to put you in new place in My Time.”.

One day, I know God gives a challenge to me. “Am I ready to release my comfort zone right now ? My good job and its pleasures?”, including the good salary for fresh graduate like me. I struggling in months. And at the end, I decided “Yes, Lord. I’m ready.”. But, well with my human mind, I tried to apply to the same industries again, consulting industries. Haha. Some of them failed in test, and some of them were offered me. The voice was lead me. At the beginning, the voice said, “No, it’s not your place”. Repeatedly. Although the best offering was salary in dollar and overseas experiences. The voice said, “No!”.

I surrender again to God. I asked God, “What is your plan, Lord ?”. The voice led me, “Wait. I have My Time”. I was quite shocked, “Hah?When?”. Struggling and struggling. It was God’s way to shape me. He wanted me to beat myself, to put Him in the first place, totally surrender.

When I felt nothing, something happens. A beverage company called my cell phone and giving interview. This is not something that I expected. Well, I ever apply it to become business solutions analyst at that place. But after 2 days recruitment process, they offered me an entry level position as graduate trainee. I didn’t know what was God’s plan. The requirement itself mention that the maximum working experience is 1 year.

I pray. “Is it Your Will, Lord ?” … In silence, I heard “Yes, Erika. Take it.” . At the first, I become angry and ask God “WHY?”. I was too arrogant. Well, if you’re still normal, you should be arrogant if your income would be decreased up to 50%.

Just in days, He taught me to surrender again. And I resigned from my jobs and accepted the new offering. Surrender, is the key.

After joined to the new company, slowly I understood God’s plan step by step. He gave me LIFE. Life that I never had at my previous jobs. Happiness and social life. He gave me spare time. A spare time to repair my broken relations with family, friends, and Him. One by one, Step by step.

The reasons above gave me clear answer when i saw posters of MAGIS. A community that offer MORE (MAGIS means MORE) to have life in Him. To find His Will and Purpose in my life.

” .. I need to do something with my life. It needs to have meaning, a goal, a mission …”

Time is not a reason again. God is good, haha. This community is only obligate to attend the monthly meeting. The member consist of 18-30 years old young people. I saw their first performance in St.Anna. And I didn’t know why I felt a strong urge to join them. I saw their happy face when they told about Jesus. So, when I read their recruitment at Facebook, I decided to register myself.

The second question is… WHAT? What have I learn ?

Exodus and Examen. On 04.00 AM ,I sit down outside of building only to find something as my symbolic way. Learn from nature for God’s arrival ,that was Exodus. God taught me a simple thing, it was about the harmony. I heard a nature voice, and suddenly with some interference from vehicle’s noises. Until one time, an airplane flying through. The airplane is very noisy at all until I can’t clearly hear the nature voice (cock, cricket, water,etc). Hmm, I was quite struck. God reminds me for my life. “Am I too busy, Lord, so I can’t realize the other thing except work and work?”, asked me to myself. Yes, I can’t hear the beautiful nature voices.

In every Examen lessons, I felt that God wanted me to have flashback for my life. A short but painful enough flashback. He taught me in silence.

In MAG+S circle, I was happy to realize that I have a small family again. A small family to share and to grow together. When there was a time to find memorable Bible verses, suddenly I remembered Jeremiah 29:11 and Ecclesiastes 3 :11 .

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

You’re right, Lord. Please teach me to more understand Your Will and Your Purpose for my life.

Not just practical but Spiritual,
Not just a friend but Companion,
Not just fun but Service

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Kebetulan nih saya ada bahan buat skalian nge-update blog…

Sejak Kamis 3 Maret 2011, mendadak BB saya mengalami keanehan.. Ngadat gt GPRS nya ga isa dpake sama sekali..

Selain itu BBM nya pun delay dan sering pesan tidak dapat masuk..

Awalnya saya mengira ini masalah jaringan.. Biasalah rahasia umum ttg kualitas operator Indonesia.. #Gak Pernah Percaya Sejak Project di 3 Operator Berbeda#

Ok, next.. Akhirnya hari Minggu 6 Maret 2011 saya nyerah jg krn uda mule ngerasa annoying banget ne ngadatnya!..

Mo ke call center,males.. akhirnya untung2an dah call ke Caroline (Customer Care On-Line) di : 0807 1 811 811 .

Itu call center nya Telkomsel.. Stelah call, mas2nya bilang lom isa nemuin info masalahnya berkaitan dgn nomor saya..

Dan dia menyarankan melakukan step-step di bawah ini :

STEP1

=====

1. Restart, cabut batre

2. Lakukan pancing jaringan.. :

Masuk ke Option > Mobile Network > Pastikan Service Data terisi dengan ON > Pada bagian Network Selection Mode, pindahin ke MANUAL terlebih dahulu. Setelah itu pilih operator lain. Kemudian pilih manual lagi, balikin pilih IND TELKOMSEL .

Step2 – HOST ROUTING TABLE

===========

Menuju ke OPTION > ADVANCE OPTION > HOST ROUTING TABLE > Teken tombol BB terlebih dahulu, kemudian tekan pilihan Register Now. Kalau di cek di message, nanti akan ada konfirmasi registration gt

Step 3 – SERVICE BOOK

=======

Menuju ke email setting > login > masukin username n password > tekan tombol BB > masuk ke service book > send service book

Dari pengalaman saya yang ini sih, saya hanya melakukan Step 1 dan Step 2 kira2 sebanyak 2x … Sambil di tes terus BBM ke teman saya

Dan untunglah gak sampai perlu ke Step 3, BBM sudah normal kembali.. dan GPRS dapat kembali digunakan untuk berselancar.. YIPPIE!!!

Klo kalian masih ga bisa juga, ya call aja CAROLINE lagi.. hehhee

Jangan ke saya yah, soale saya uda gak under bendera salah satu anak perusahaan ni operator lagi

Saya pernah dikirimkan rangkaian kata-kata tentang DOA … Dan daripada saya simpan sendiri, semoga dengan saya post di blog ini, dapat berguna juga untuk pengunjung blog ini

————————————————————————————

Doa

Berdoalah di mana saja anda berada, Tuhan ada di mana-mana.
Bila doa anda menjadi kering dan rutin, teruskan saja. Tanah yang kering kerontang menyambut datangnya hujan.

Bawalah kemarahan anda dalam doa, logam yang panas bisa dibentuk. Bila anda berdosa dan terus menerus jatuh, berdoalah. Tuhan tetap mencintai anda.
Berdoalah bila anda cemas. Doa membuat segala sesuatu bisa dipikirkan dan dipertimbangkan secara sehat.

Bila karena sesuatu hal anda tidak bisa berdoa, bersantailah.
Keinginan untuk berdoa itu sudah merupakan langkah awal menuju doa.
Bila dorongan doa mengajak anda untuk mengambil resiko, beranilah.
Tuhan akan mendukung anda. Bila anda merasa sedih atau menyesal, menangislah. Air mata adalah doa dari kalbu hati.

Jika anda tidak menyukai seseorang, berdoalah untuknya. Doa mengungkapkan maksud Tuhan yang tersembunyi.

Bila anda menerima kabar buruk, tegarlah, doa memberi cahaya terang.
Jika “doa” membuat anda jadi pasif dan acuh tak acuh, itu bukanlah doa.
Doa sejati akan membuahkan kepedulian dan pelayanan.

Gunakanlah saat-saat ribut dan tegang untuk berdoa. Kegaduhan adalah hiruk pikuk ciptaan yang mencari Tuhan.

Berdoalah bila anda merasa kesepian.
Doa membuat anda ditemani oleh para malaikat.
Bila hidup ini terasa kejam dan tak adil, berdoalah terus. Tuhan adalah karenanya, bukan penyebabnya.

————————————————————————————

Notes:

Saya tidak mengetahui di mana keberadaan terakhir teman saya ini. Saya mengenalnya berkat sebuah milis online.

Teman, jika mungkin kamu pernah merasa mengirimkan nya ke e-mail leoerk [at] yahoo [dot] com ,please contact saya ya via blog ini (posting saja di halaman Testimoni atau komen di artikel ini).

Update :

Di bawah ini wallpaper editan saya yang berisi kata2 di atas.. Monggo bagi yang ingin download

Thanks have entrusted HostingBebas.com as the trusted hosting provider for LavenderBeautyShop.com and my team as developers (actually only consists of myself and one of my friend, haha).

Without  doubt, we started smoothly from the beginning of this project.

Ok, because of I have no materials to update this blog (huh!), so I will open a small of my secrets (pssst!). Yes, it means:

1. Gathering user requirements (aah, as usual in IT industry -DAILY LIFE)

Here is the most important thing : define the branding itself. I asked a lot about my client’s running business. I really realized that was very important matters. Yup. When my client decide to trust my service, it means that WE (my team and client’s) walk together.

You might have great product with great quality, but without right image, all of that are nothing.

2. Define the scope and timeframe

Yuhuuuu.. IT project is a service. Don’t wish to survive in any IT services without right consulting. And right consulting only works (remember!) when we’ve clear scopes. Yes, it means scope of problems. It will determine your timeframe too. How long do you have time to develop ? And don’t make promise too much. Clients need to be educated. A good consultant (or vendor) , will not let her clients get all of they want without let them know about the risks.

3. Pricing strategy

Aah, common issue,right? haha! Normally, no one wants to pay huge of budget.

But remember, IT services are not all about FREE. You can give it free, when it’s still stand on the earth -non sense- . Haha.

Don’t ever let yourself (and team) becomes suffer because of unfair pricing! Why? Ok, I will explain you why.. logically, you will sacrifice your work quality. Mmm, bad spirit will result nothing, agree ? So, give your client a -reasonable- pricing. Ofcourse, it’s better when you are not propose the ‘Change Request-CR’ too much to client, especially when it comes with commercial issues .

So think it clearly when you calculate your price. Once again, educate the client when they ask the ‘WHY’ word.

4. Choose right development strategy

Well, because of we talk about common project -ecommerce for small enterprise- … No one wants to wait you to build from scratch! Turn your brain! A lot of frameworks can be used out of there! Ofcourse no framework will directly suitable for your needs, so try to think harder  how to modify it And don’t forget : as it can, it must be FREE of any costs, hohoho…

5. Coordinate well with your team. Right team mates for a success project.

Always listening your team mates. Easy to say, huh? Don’t be too stubborn And now, I really say thanks.. a BIG thanks for my team mate, who already help me to finish project … Sorry, no name to say.. hahaha… Back stage only

……Ok.. I think all of that are enough for tonight.. hoaaahmm.. I feel very sleepy.

Good night, all.. c-ya! *wish that I will be not too lazy to continue it to part2 ,ok ?*

Today, I try to join a personality quiz from bigjobportal.com, named RIASEC test.

And here is the result :

NILAI ANDA

Faktor Realistic = 10Faktor Investigative = 26Faktor Artistic = 14Faktor Social = 9Faktor Enterprising = 18Faktor Conventional = 16
Kepribadian primer anda adalah Investigative

Kepribadian investigative menyukai perkerjaan yang harus dilakukan dengan berfikir dibanding dengan aktivitas fisik. Mereka senang mencari fakta dan menemukan masalah yang berhubungan dengan mental daripada mempengaruhi atau memimpin orang lain
Pekerjaan yang berhubungan dengan kepribadian ini:
- Dosen Teknik
- Pengembang Perangkat Lunak Komputer
- Dosen Ilmu Pertanian
- Dosen Ilmu Kehutanan dan Perlindungan Hutan
- Dosen Fisika
- Dosen Spesialis Kedokteran
- Ahli Ilmu Bius
- Ahli Bedah
- Dokter Anak
- Analis Sistem Komputer
- Psikolog
- Dokter Umum atau Dokter Keluarga
- Apoteker
- Guru Ilmu Biologi
- Guru Ilmu Kimia
- Asisten Dokter
- Analis Sistem Jaringan dan Komunikasi Data
- Guru Ilmu Komputer
- Guru Ilmu Matematika
- Administrator Database
- Ahli Keamanan Komputer
- Programmer
- Dokter Hewan
- Analis Keuangan
- Analis Pemasaran
- Dokter Tulang
- Dokter Mata
- Dokter Gigi
- Orthodontist
- Ahli Perangkat Keras Komputer
Kepribadian Sekunder anda adalah Enterprising

Kepribadian Enterprising menyukai pekerjaan yang berhubungan dengan perencanaan dan pelaksanaan proyek, khususnya tentang spekulasi bisnis. Mereka senang mempengaruhi dan memimpin orang lain dan membuat keputusan. Mereka mau mengambil resiko demi memperoleh keuntungan. Kepribadian ini lebih memilih aksi/perbuatan dari pada perkataan.
Pekerjaan yang berhubungan dengan kepribadian ini:
- Manager Pemasaran
- Analis Managemen
- Manager Sistem Komputer dan Informasi
- Manager Keuangan
- Badan Eksekutif Pemerintah
- Manager Pelayanan Medis dan Kesehatan
- Marketing
- Pengacara
- Pedagang Hasil Pertanian
- Pedagang Bahan Kimia dan Obat-obatan
- Pedagang Barang Elektronik
- Pedagang dan Suplier Suku Cadang Mesin
- Manager Administrasi Harian
- Manager HRD
- Manager Pengembangan Sumber Daya Manusia
- Manager Konstruksi
- Public Relation
- Manager Distribusi dan Persediaan
- Manager Transportasi
- Salesman / Salesgirl
- Penyidik Tindak Kriminal
- Polisi
- Petugas Pajak
- Manager untuk Artis dan Atlit Profesional
- Manager Lembaga Bantuan Hukum
- Pemilik Toko Retail

Not too bad, huh?

It’s almost right for me. Unfortunately, in the real.. Enterprising must be the first. haha.

I love to explore something new ,especially what is the business benefit. It’s quite interesting to play with data, and amazingly we can get great facts from it.

See you on the next update…

Hopefully after I finished my duties on current project ,hohohooo..